Nothingness .

When the days that shine run past, You lingering at the side of darkness witnessing the beauty of collateral Damage, a voice will be heard. It is the voice of an angel but she exists only to aspire you to your success which you do not wish to be attained all by yourself. That is where the problem arises. That is when we realize we are humans. That is when we realize we are mortals, the biggest weakness of all. That is when we wish for death.

Ohh says a human

Ahh says the angels

Lord says nothing

And that is when you turn towards the mortals and say we shall all sing the hymn for it is the hymn that binds us to nothing . With nothingness comes something, a baggage of wisdom and some misery

You shall cry for the lord.

How to be happy. The real answer!

In the darkest of the darkest hours of your life, you must understand that happiness is not an illusion but it is something best experienced when shared. The river never flows backwards and the sun doesn’t stop shining and so is happiness which will persist with you even at your last breath. Happiness can be witnessed with only willingness, happiness will shout back at you in the form of a lonely warrior that is eager to serve his kingdom. Remember that happiness is discovered only when you share love. That is all you need to know in life.

Thank you for your time that you have served yourself in seeking happiness. Here is your answer to all the questions of your life. Share happiness and you will seek the true meaning of what life is. It does not matter who you share it with, it could be to your pet, nature, family, friends or only to your one and only friend. Happiness can be shared even when you are alone. It could be shared with an inanimate object as long as you are sharing. Believe me that its not crazy and it will keep you happy. For example you could share your happiness towards your car by driving it or cleaning it so that you could pass it on to somebody somewhere maybe who is in much need than yourself. Simplicity is an another alternative to be happy.

Live, laugh, share.

The rain shall dance of my love.

In the daybreak of a rainy season, the light shines through the window, I am bewildered by the thunder that roars even as some light spreads over the backyard onto flowers and bushes.

The heavy clouds hold as long as it could with droplets waiting to flow at even the slightest snap of your finger and the ground starts to smell good with some sprinkle of water here and there yet you do not feel my love.

The sun shines bright after the heavy drops of success and self consciousness drizzle down onto the earth and remain mere dirt but you are yet to do the dance of fluidity to create a safe space from the rain, the thunder that roars and love that shall be heard by someone in the universe that lives somewhere.

I write this poem to somebody somewhere…..

How to die in a good way.

Like mushrooms that grow to look beautiful, like sunrises that mend your mind, like flowers that gives good fragrance, colour your life to the brightest one you find.

Now Picture a cold morning with dreadful things to come, picture a death bed that knows the end has come, picture yourself in regrets and now believe that the colours can paint the darkness, the colours can brighten your world and paint beautiful scenes right till its the end.

Not a believer? Try trusting your timid mind but make it tell once “I am fine” twice “I am fine” thrice “i am fine” and start believing that everything is alright, play the song in your head in a loop, close your eyes with no fear and look and only look at the brightest day you had, smile at your death, keep the pain away, and enter the sanctum of faith not in God, not in heaven, heck not even in hell but just yourself, your temple of happiness.

Knowing that your are suffering and knowing that everything is not alright is alright, let it go, you were not made for success as you see but you were created for being happy. Believe that trying to die in peace is only thing what you could do. At the end its all that anybody could do.

About a girl who feels.

The moon stays bright at nights where wisdom flows like a river of deeds, the night talks to the boredom girl who sits there beside the stream. Her beauty is not questioned as she lay there amidst confusion of who she is and what she wants.

The girl sleeps that night under a tree near the stream with anxiety clutched on like a life saving destiny but she knows that anxiety kills the deeds. Worried about death a part of life and life after the death she cries inside her mind as nobody would see how captivated she is to seek the wisdom of a little girl as she grows oldest.

Its time to go, the moon shouts, its time to go, shouts the stream, the birds stop chirping and the wolfs howl looking at the moon, well the girl that knows her death has come decides to grow her little girl inside to a grown woman to seek no pain from her fainted memory and she breathes for the last time crying at the treacherous men to whom she meant nothing. Her clothes with all the cuts and the bosom with bruises she lay beside the very river that she survived on.

(dedicated to all the women who were the victims of rape, molestation and discrimination.)

Why one should prefer making friends outside the stupid box.

Little force of stress climb up from the feet, the legs, the thighs, the stomach, the chest and finally on to the head. What started as a process of change has not completely gone in vain, I see myself as a victim of disorders but at the same time do not feel sympathized about myself. I try creating new content so that I

could enjoy along with others.

It seems that social media websites have created a space in which people only produce content that makes a cover for them to hide the real self.

Lets think about it for a while and reflect to ourself that social media has indeed been such a platform that produces a virtually different atmosphere and idea about people, their characteristics, personality and much more.

There was a time when we had felt the true essence of people, their charisma and energy in full exposure in the real world but I would not like to discredit the fact that social media has opened to a far more advanced state where one could find friends. Friends is just a fancy term now, an accessory because we can now create a social circle where we dot know the person but know the person meaning that we have friends in our friend list that we do not even know. If one would have to ask me why then the answer would be that people seek pleasure and fun in acquiring followers for the purpose of being famous. It is the truth which nobody accepts. You could come up with the argument that it could be also to get enough people to like your work simply to prove your talent but all that rounds up to the fact that today everyone believes that success is in being rich and having lots of followers that you lead.

I know of friends that have met with the help of dating applications and I totally accept the fact that good friends could be found or happen as I would like to say with access to social media but their is always the lack of real life interactions and communications that matters in connecting with people outside the bubble that has been created by the social media. To enter into a good company requires good skill in communication but again I do not deny the fact that there are people who do well in both the virtual and real world. To such people I would like to say “keep on going with what what you do” because it is okay for them but what I am trying to point out is the others who lack the motivation to simply talk. You may ask “how do you know?” well the answer would be that “I am one of them. ”

All in all, what I am humbly suggesting is to try seeking friends out side the social media world so that you could have a better sense of connection with people that will help you in removing your depression, anxiety because you would feel that you belong somewhere and hope for a shoulder to cry upon rather than a keyboard and a mouse pad.

Know how to know what life means!

Where the end comes is where possibilities of enriching oneself and rejuvenating begins, where the mind dies is the spot to grow new thoughts, beliefs, social circles and discovering new you.

The centre of the earth is always hot while the exterior part remains cold and just like that when life is completely filled with problems, complete your life with ease and gentleness because gentleness creates an eye for details and details lead to answers of what we all think, all the time – “what is life.”

Start writing to know yourself better, start writing to know freedom that you ask, start writing to let out your fears of not being identified as the binary that is conditioned, start writing to feather touch dreams, start writing to pain your minds wall of dreams, start writing to know others, start writing to create new possibilities and start writing to not become something you are not.

When one stands ignored, stop pleasing and start creating words of wisdom like I am doing now.

Ooru and the world (analysis)

The idea of name change is a symbolic step to kannadization. The root language that exists in the state which is kannada is closely related to the concept of culture which is fading away slowly with the introduction of the idea of globalization that comes with the establishment of different companies. The brand value of the city is stated with the consideration of language as a basis for the creation of the idea of brand value. The term “banglore” stand in close relation with the western culture and language English which has set a standard that is in acceptance of the westerners hence resulting in a hub for companies and their market with respect to their likings. The association with the western culture with the usage of the term banglore has value that is judged to be supreme. In countries like India, the western civilization and their culture is in more acceptance rather than ones own root culture and the term banglore stands as a symbol for the acceptance of the western culture with its slang. The earlier mentioned idea of acceptance of such culture is the reason why the term bangluru was rejected according to Ananthamaurthy. Ananthamurthy explains why people hate the idea of re-naming the term. According to him people have forgotten their root culture which is kannada with the impact of the language English which is seen superior to all other languages and the medium of conversations but this was just one reason because banglore has become the IT hub and people seeking employment have now resided here alienating the root language and culture hence the idea emerged to change the term banglore to bangaluru to create space for the kannada culture to re emerg. This act of kannadization was to bring the nostalgia back and also in the belief that the language would not be abandoned since there would be its usage with at least minimal impact. This act of kannadization it to remind of the culture for it could be passed on from one generation to another. Ananthamurthy also suggested that all the schools and colleges that teach major subjects must also be taught in kannada so that the culture sustains. Hence he believed in such methods to project and retain the glory of kannada language through the act that he calls “kannadization”.

Trent and Allie and The Nomadic Movement.

The treasure chest of life would be the things that nature produces, the pleasures of life is indeed found in simplicity. Nature binds the beings on earth with some essence that make us understand the concept of universality. Travelling is one of the pleasures that humans have immensely learned and conditioned to which one lifts the time limit period by forgetting the contemporary worries that each one of us face. One must understand the fact that there are other kinds of people who have driven themselves out of the time bound miseries or simply problems of their lives to live a better life and surely this kind would be none other than the humble “Trent and Allie.”

I was simply browsing the internet when I somehow bumped into travel vlogs and discovered the YouTube channel named “Trent and Allie“. Its fascinating how the couple manage a life of simplicity and humble living without giving away the key to life which is happiness. This YouTube channel is an example of true meaning of what we call life. Some of us forget to understand the true meaning of life and its essence due to our time bound rituals like going to a 9am to 9pm work. The videos they present are realistic unlike other channels that seek tricks to fool people into believing that life in a van is merry-merry. Yes, you heard me right, they live in a van converted into a house…. Correction… A beautiful home. They have a pet dog that lives with them who seems to be very friendly. A loyal dog is just what one needs to call a group as a family infact its all that one needs.

You must be wondering that life in a van is easy well definitely not true. Like everything it has its downsides but as Trent and Allie states “but there is many plus side to a van life”, I too believe so. I am a Traveller who believes in the drive and the destination to be the lessons in learning the real values of life but Trent and Allie took it to the next level. This is when I saw the other van life couple who are friends of Trent and Allie and their channel is called “The Nomadic Movement.” An other couple who seems to live a similar life that Trent and Allie leads well with some their own elegant touch.

The Nomadic Movement is an another great channel that you all should like and subscribe because I think they are bound by beautiful thoughts of life and with their little dramas and problems they bring out the realistic image of life.

Right now “Trent and Allie” and “The Nomadic Movement” are planning to visit “Guatemala” a central American country. They seem a little scared (except Allie) but what I perceive from their fear is that they are willing to take risks for they are binding with nature’s true tributes and seeking this pleasure of bonding with nature which is what life truly means and this perception only comes with belief in ones own existence. I believe that they are going to do just fine!

The videography that is presented is based on live action cuts or precisely video feed based on simple visual presentation. Its got just the amount of information on a 15 to 20 min time frame. The videos consist of sometimes story like feeds which keeps the essence and true purpose of video creations and the effects added on are convincing to which is why I kindly ask everyone to like and subscribe to their channel.

Finally, the busy schedules of our lives have been so confusing that we seek relief from it and what else could be a better way than viewing the worlds situation and scenery by the eyes of “Trent and Allie” and “The Nomadic Movement.”

On a short note :you will not regret what you see in these YouTube channels. Please subscribe and share.

Yours sinister

It is a morning with blissful nature. The wind from the heaven cautiously hits the gentle skin creating a cold atmosphere while the sun rays fall blissfully upon everything. Arun Panikar, a thin and tall young man with shady eyes, pointy nose, colour of the brown soil and a lip that has turned into a dark shade due to smoking which he believes to be an act of escape from the tensions of a chaotic world. He has an attitude that prolongs him to find new ways to deal with life and its chaos. He wakes up to the sound of the old alarm clock that has its spot next to the bed, on a small antique wooden table that reminds him of his old man who made it, he is quite sensitive about these things. As usual it was the routine that messed up his appetite which he claims to be the reason for him being late to 8 – hour work schedule at Koramangala, Bangalore the convenient spot to work due to the availability of anything and everything that exist on earth mainly food that is delicious. As usual Panikar the name by which Arun is called out is late to a Monday morning work. He does his normal routine chores and fixes a good breakfast which is the usual bread and two boiled eggs and having some hurries outside waving his hand to his sister called by the name Anitha panikar with similar features in looks and character that are of Panikar and with a bold voice that brings fear in anybody that looks or hears her speaking. He now walks toward the bus station dreaming as usual about all the possibilities of things that could go wrong but it was now that he remembered to take his wallet left inside the wardrobe.
He hurries back to the small apartment that he lives in and waits for the lift to open but since he was already late decides to climb the stairs back to 4th floor of the building. Panikar huffs and puffs while he murmurs to himself of the life that seems to be already going wrong. It is now when he reached the door that he heard a scream from the opposite apartment, a scream that was so high pitched that everyone in the neighbour hood could hear. “wonder what could be wrong, perhaps saw something horrible or dropped something precious” he thought and pushes hard the calling bell. “wait right there, I will be in a minute shouted Anitha from the inside who was taking a shower. With the already lost patience he waits and now decides to take a sick leave from work since he Is already late and thinks for himself being in a state where he cannot do anything but listen to his boss’s lecture about the concept of time. He recalls the scream and tries to turn and have a look but Anitha already opens the door. “Anitha, you must know that I am already late to work, what took you so long?” – “it’s because I was” – “never mind just keep this bag on the table and will you bring a glass of water?”. She walks towards the table and gets a glass of water. Panikar goes to the restroom to find clothes of Anitha with stain everywhere on the floor, all of it soaked in soap water. He does not bother to ask since he is too lazy to do anything and arguing about the clothes is not seen as an option. He believed it to be the sauce that could have stained her clothes since Anitha is a messy eater.
He takes a seat on the sofa and turns on the old radio to listen to the morning news. After a while his mind starts to wander off into thoughts as he sunk into the sofa, sitting in a sluggish posture. He remembers the scream that he heard an hour ago and starts to think about it. The thought of him not figuring out what happened next door haunted him. Never mind he said and walks toward Anitha who seems restless for some reason. “what happened to you? you seem to be in a bit of tension, is it because of the clothes that you need to wash? I could help you….do you feel sick? I could fetch some medicines” – “will you just leave me alone for a while, I am feeling better than ever before, are you happy now? – “well, as you wish” he pouted in a weird way and walked towards the bed room to take a nap. He giggled and thought in his mind of women in periods. Its evening when he woke up to the beeping of the pager. He at first thought it to be his colleagues at work but it seems that it’s a message from his boss asking him to leave the place immediately. Startled by the message he calls his boss with the cordless phone that lay beneath the pillow and his boss picks up at one ring. “good that you called, do not ask any questions just leave, I will explain everything later, just so that you know that your life is in great danger.” (boss hangs up the call and Panikar seems to be scared and confused, Anitha walks into the bed room.) Arun you must be hungry, there is some pudding left, would you like to eat? – No, its soon going to be dinner time”. – “but some pudding will not take away your hunger, come on now, eat some of it, I will get some right away”. ( Panikar feels some change in Anitha’s behaviour and starts to recall the scream that he heard in the morning.”) he wonders to himself that the boss calling him and asking him to leave right away and Anitha all of a sudden being different and forcing the pudding, the stained dress put for wash and the scream next door all could not be just a coincidence. He decides to meet the neighbour to confirm that its all just fine and could be a coincidence. He walks towards the main door passing through the living room and looks at Anitha for a moment who is serving the pudding in a bowl at the kitchen adjacent to the living room. (She seems to be looking at him with pity.) A cold shiver went through Panikar’s spine with that look. He without telling anything to Anitha walks straight to the neighbour’s door and rings the bell but nobody answered at the door. Anitha had mentioned few weeks back that there is nobody there because the owner had been gone on a week’s vacation. He walks towards the neighbour’s apartment and finds the door already unlocked. He walks in and could not see a thing because it was dark and already dusk. He searches for the switch to turn on the lights which is when he bumps into something unusual and his foot becomes wet. He switches on the light and sees a 6 – foot corpse of the lady with her head slaughtered with something heavy and blood spilled like wine on the floor which he accidently stepped. He turns back with no voice to raise for help which is when he gets stabbed twice in the back by a familiar hand that he holds upon for support while he was collapsing. It was the hands that serves him, pampered him gently when he was sick, that held him tight when he was scared. “I have a good reason for all of this, sorry brother but this is all I could do, I wished no harm to anyone but it is my fate that I cannot let you live, now you have witnessed my actions of barbarism too…..( Anitha weeps holding her brother who is nothing more than dead meat, Andrew, the boss of Panikar enters the scene after some time.) Andrew understood by the looks of the scene and silently walks outside towards the balcony, he bends over to look for the police that he called right away seeing the scene. Half an hour later he finds the police walking out of their jeep, he remains silent as though nothing had happened. He was calm as anyone could ever be as though nothing of the situation bothered him. Anitha is not happy with Andrew’s behaviour at this point of time. “are you not bothered a bit about anything that has happened. (Sobbing heavily) is this all that you love me, you hate me don’t you- shut the fuck up, you are mad woman….don’t you see ….there is nothing left in your life and this is what he wanted. Anitha confused stands there idle. The police enters and looks at bloody hands of Anitha and the body that lay on the floor, issues an arrest to take Anitha away (Andrew had called the police and let them know that it was Anitha). “what do you mean Andrew, I do not understand….” The police do not allow her to complete and hand cuffs her to take her away. The voice of Andrews rings in her mind. “inspector, please do not…” the police inspector understands the gesture of Andrew. Anitha is gone now and there is nothing he could do, he starts weeping now but wipes away his tears holding back the anger and all kinds of feeling. A week has easily passed by and Anitha is held before the system. She could not justify her act and is imprisoned for life and all she could think of is Andrews statement “this is what he wanted” She wondered who he referred to and why. Her answer to the questions lies with Andrew and hence she waits patiently for his arrival.
It’s a year that went past and Anitha has got comfortable with the routines established at the prison. As usual she wakes up to the thrashing of the plates which meant it was time to get up for it was her shift to cook at the kitchen but today she received a letter and the jail superintendent brings it to her. She was waiting for the letter assuming that it is from Andrews but her excitement vanishes from its peak since it was from somebody named Neeraj. It was the letter from her ex-lover whom she was in love with 6 years ago but Anitha is in confusion of why he would be writing a letter to her. She waits till afternoon since it was the only time she would be free from all the hectic work in the prison. Later that day she opens the letter gently and starts reading it skipping all the main part since her hopes had lost its wing to fly with the loss of faith in Andrew. The last few words said “sorry for being the reason for your brother’s death.” Anitha is shocked and starts to read the letter from the beginning. The letter goes something like this, Dear Anitha , it’s been years that we have met each other. I wish that I could come and visit you but my conscience does not allow me to do so and it is this very same reason that I am writing this letter. I hope you will forgive me for my mistakes, no perhaps you would not but still I think there are some answers that you seek. It is I who murdered the lady next door and not Panikar. I had asked Panikar to stay away from my girl but he did not, I could not stand another chance of being the victim again and hence I decided to stealth in to the apartment and kill both which is when Andrew my roommate entered while I was having a conversation to myself, you might think that I am mad but I am not. Off course a mad man could not have done such a neat job of murdering a couple. You made my work easier with your misconception of the scene thinking that Panikar killed the lady maybe as revenge. Andrew warned Panikar of me but he was too arrogant to listen to his fear. And this is why I had to take care of Andrew’s case too, may his soul rest in peace. Panikar should have died in my arms. Panikar did not kill the women while you were taking a shower, it was I who did it, Panikar did not kill the woman to hide the secret, infact he would never had done that since he was to become a father. You are surely a fool of ego and arrogance. Panikar was as loyal as he could be but never mind because they both are in a happy place now. Hope that you never die of hating yourself. yours sinister, NEERAJ Anitha falls to the ground, crying out on her sin never to live peacefully.

Nature’s dance

A ocean of green, with light shifting from one to another within seconds along with the wavy breath, the sun glitters its presence with the wavy movement of the ocean of lush green, the white that hides behind the smooth ocean that I witness stands as a wall to perhaps justify the beauty. A rhythm moves in towards my ear along with my eyes that see the true beauty today. Looks as if they are waving at me with good wishes….the pure white sky that shines at this is seen through the channel made like a telescope not with metal but twigs and sticks and leaves. I see my soul in the plain blank sky that covers like the usually mentioned blanket. Nature is curious and so am I. I see her my support, my love but yet its an illusion. What if its not….

I seem to appreciate her kindness put forth in the form of a dance that only she and her kind could do. The moment made me think what life really meant. Is it just an illusuion or something to be learned from. Such illusions. I wish to exit and orbit in minutes with my sinfull body around my memories through a white light and exit out of reality. Within minutes it will all disappear. It has now begun with the slow sound of laughter that my ears caputres and the melancholy of hatred that I start to see….. Goodbye to this moment. I liked the momentum.

Mama’s boy

As the waves hit the shore, the sun burns from its core and the clouds smile with tenderness that fixes a smile on faces which will now glow.

The haze cover the misery, the platoons of ant army motivates the busy crowd, “left right left” they march and tells us a tale of how to mind our own businesses.

Then later in the same day the rain starts pouring and mama runs into the kitchen to fix some snack to munch, perhaps vada or pakoda, mouth watering indeed. A cup of chai would be delightful says ever mama’s boy and a comfy blanket to sit on a couch would cover up all the drama of being in desperation.

The rain stops later that day, the clouds clear and blue sky appear, back to the rush and busy hour and mama’s boy still between two pillows and underneath the blanket waiting for mama to hear what a delightful day it is here.

what is life worth and what is life without an experience! www.dheerajnair.wordpress.com